I’ve written a lot about the word no. It’s something I think you need to learn to say more in life. When you say no, you’re building time for you to say yes to the right things.
Then there are times when you know you want to do something but it just isn’t the right time. That’s when no’s first cousin appears. That’s when you need to start learning to use the term not yet.
In life’s transitions, not yet is really important.
When you start going through a transition there’s going to be a whole laundry list of things for you to do. If you’re getting ready to retire you’ll have lots of decisions to make.
You’ll want to know where you’re going to live, how you’re going to manage your money, what you want to spend your life doing. All of these are important yet some are more important than others. Knowing what to start with and then saying not yet to all of the others helps you make wise decisions that’ll make your life better.
Not yet gives you room to breath
When you start a major change in your life you’re going to need time to breath. If you’re changing jobs, you’ll want to get used to the new job before you start other major projects.
Most of the time making a major life change is mentally draining. If you’re under a lot of stress you’re going to see your IQ and mental capacity drop. You don’t want to try to stay at your normal pace during these times. Slowing down will give you time to focus on what’s really important, not just issues others think is important.
Not yet shows you’ve thought about priorities
When you say not yet, you’re saying that you’ve thought about what’s important in your life. You’ve decided that there are other things you need to focus on first. You’ve discovered that when you try to do too many things at once none of them get done well.
I know that you aren’t going to be able to successfully manage five or six major projects at once. When you’re going through a major change in your life you’ll have at least that many projects to consider.
Remember, start with the ones that provide the best return for the least amount of effort. That will always provide a payback that’ll be worth the time you spend.
Not yet allows you to focus
Last year was an interesting year for me. I spent a lot of time learning new things to help my clients. In fact, I spent too much time learning and not enough time integrating.
This year there are still tons of things I would love to learn. I also know that if I don’t focus on integrating what I’ve already learned I will have wasted a lot of time, money and effort.
I’m going to be that you also are working on too many projects. If that rings true for you, then it’ll be important for you to learn to say not yet and spend time integrating before trying anything new.
When you have integration issues, saying not yet allows you time to consolidate the new new in your life. How much value can that provide?
Not yet is where you can think
If you lose a spouse you’re probably having lots of people wanting to help. Those that want to help mean well. They want to help you ease your burden.
At the same time these same people will often suggest more than you want or are willing to do. You know that at some point in the future you want to think about their suggestions. You just know that it’s not the right time now.
Instead of saying no, you can say not yet. This buys you time and allows you to think about using all of those well meaning suggestions when it fits your time frame.
At the end of the day not yet buys you time
I know that if you rush to make a decision there’s a good chance you’ll be sorry. When you take enough time to think through what you want to do and more importantly why it’s important to do it, your decisions will be much better.
To do this type of thinking takes time. You have to be able to use your brain at it’s highest level. You can’t do this when your under stress or trying to do too many things at once.
Saying not yet is much easier than just saying no. Remember that if you’re saying not yet, it’s not the same as saying no. All you’ve done is buy yourself some time. And when you’re in transition, that’s often all you need.