Trust is an elusive thing. We know it when we see it. Trust is also a difficult thing to define. Building trust takes time. The goal in building a trusting relationship is to continue moving forward. Paying attention to the following four things will help move towards a trusting relationship with others.
Start with integrity. If you want others to trust you, you must act with integrity. This means that your word is your bond. When you tell someone something it must be the entire truth.
If people find out that you only tell part of the story they will doubt everything that comes out of your mouth. I had an early experience with a client where I told a half-truth and it cost me this person’s trust for many years.
Be true with your intent. Make sure you are working towards an outcome where both parties win. If the person you’re working with doesn’t believe that you are being fair you will never gain trust with them.
Intent comes from actions and not words. You must show that your intentions become actions that can be watched and measured. People always watch what you do and don’t listen to what you say.
Don’t oversell your capabilities. It’s better to under promise and over deliver than the other way around. If you can find a way to make sure you provide more than what others expect you will gain their trust.
We all like to think we’re better at things than we really are. I believe that if you under-sell your skills you will gain trust and confidence with others quickly. We’re used to others over selling what they can actually deliver on. It’s a real pleasure to find someone who delivers more than they promise.
Be results oriented. If you can provide a positive result with others they will gain confidence in you. People want to know that you can deliver on the promises you make. Having an evidence procedure in place helps others know when we’ve produced results that we’ve promised.
When people build confidence they start to build trust. Confidence is a step on the way towards trust. It’s not trust. Too many people believe that because they’ve taken steps towards building trust that trust has been established.
Being results oriented is not about achieving goals. It’s being willing to be measured on your performance. Trust is something that takes time to build. If you can deliver for the person you’re working with they build trust in you. After you’ve delivered several times successfully you will find that others seek your help. When others seek your help you are on the way towards building a trusting relationship.
Trust takes time to build. If we understand what it takes to build trust with others we can take steps to make sure we don’t do things that get in the way. It’s when we take actions that cause others to question our integrity or we oversell our skills that we have taken giant steps backwards. The goal when one is building a trusting relationship is to make sure we go forward in the process of helping others trust our words and actions.
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