I spend a lot of time thinking about trust. I would like to believe that everyone I meet would trust me for the rest of their lives. I know that wish is pure fantasy and understand that I even have times where I might have had trust but ended up losing it.
I’ve learned that my success as a coach revolves on how much trust those I work with have with me. It’s easy for me to lose trust. I just have to be too forceful with an idea or change I would like to see made. If the person I’m working with isn’t ready to hear what I have to say trust will be lost. I’ve learned that when I am too forceful I need to back off and admit that my behavior was incorrect.
The big problem with not admitting mistakes is you don’t learn anything from the mistake. I encourage people to make mistakes. Mistakes happen when we take a risk. Often when we try something new it doesn’t work out as well as we hoped it would. If we don’t admit that we made a mistake then the entire exercise in taking a risk was wasted. We only learn when we make a mistake.
If we don’t communicate our mistakes quickly to our bosses, those in charge won’t want us to continue taking risks. Trust is lost and the opportunity to try new things might be taken away from us.
Not admitting a mistake causes trust to disappear. When trust goes away it takes much longer to get something done. We all make mistakes. Sometimes we really make the other person angry about our mistakes. I’m still guilty of this behavior. I sometimes give people my opinion when it hasn’t been requested.
I see a pattern and I start spouting about what should be done. I might be right on the money with my observation, but unless the person I’m speaking with wants my opinion I will put myself in a position of losing trust.
Unless I own my actions trust will be lost forever. It’s my responsibility to own the mistakes I make. If I apologize and let the other person know what I’ve learned there is a chance that trust can be rebuilt. If I don’t admit my mistake trust will never come back and the lack of trust will likely harden.
I spend a lot of time coaching others. It’s easy for me to be overbearing in my opinions and ideas. I know that I won’t get a positive outcome unless there is a high level of trust. We all need to be mindful of what patterns we have where trust is lost.
What do you do that loses trust? When you lose trust with others, how do you regain trust again or do you believe that once trust is lost it can’t be regained?
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