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Value Creation Blog

Are You Boring?

Posted by Josh Patrick

bored cat resized 600I’ve been a fan of different personality profile studies for years.  I became certified in using DISC and Kolbe and will review anything that comes down the pike.  I find all of these studies interesting because I get to ask myself different questions about how I’m viewed by the outside world.

As much as you might want to think it really doesn’t matter, it does.  How others see you will help determine the amount of success you have in your life and business.  A personality test won’t give you the answers, but it might help with providing you with some really good questions.

I recently ran across a profiling system I find fascinating and one that I highly recommend you check out.  Sally Hogshead developed it and it deals with how to fascinate those around you.  You see it’s not about how you think about yourself.  Success will depend on how others see you.

First don’t think about being fascinating, think about not being boring.

Have you ever noticed how much you talk about yourself?  I know that I will from time to time go on a long rant about something I believe passionately about.  After five minutes I have to stop for a breath and look at the person I’m with.  They’ve completely checked out. 

Have you ever had that happen to you?  If so, you’ve moved into the world of boring.  Others aren’t often interested in what you think.  They are interested in what they think.  This means that asking questions will often get you much further than letting the world know your opinion.

Being not boring comes from understanding what others find fascinating in you.

One of the things Sally has discovered is that people find you fascinating for a reason.  Your personality is fascinating to someone.  Understanding what about you that others find interesting will help you develop rapport and deliver your message and more impactful manner.

If you understand how the world sees you then you know which people you’re more likely to be successful with.  Not everyone is going to buy in to what you’re selling.  The good news is that there are lots of people in the world who will.  Finding out who those people are and crafting a message for this group will help you be interesting to your natural supporters.

What about those you might not be fascinating to?

There’s a secret I’ve learned:  If I ask questions and I ask them well with true interest in others I automatically become fascinating.  We all like to talk about ourselves.  If you learn to ask questions you’ll automatically become fascinating to those you’re with.

Have you ever had the experience where you just met someone and sometime in the first hour of the conversation they tell you that you’re a great conversationalist?  If this has happened you might have noticed that you didn’t make many statements but that you asked a lot of questions.  I’ve had this happen several times in my life.  Every time it does, I’m reminded that I’m more interesting when I ask questions than when I spout my opinion.

What about you?  Are you interested in finding out what others find fascinating in you?  You might want to check out Sally’s site.  You’ll likely find some interesting things to think about.

Part of fascination lies with finding people who have the same belief system as you.  This is also true when you hire people to join your team.  I’ve written a special report on hiring for unique abilities.  If you follow a systematic method for hiring people you’re more likely to get the right people to join your team.  To get this report, click on the button below.

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Topics: business coaching, communication, personal value

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