My cancer might come back.
This is probably the biggest fear I have and the one I spend the most time worrying about. Every time a new ache or pain appears I ask myself whether this is when I re-enter cancer world. It’s been over four years since I’ve ended my cancer treatments. Still, there’s the worry and that just doesn’t seem to go away.
Medical bills might bankrupt me.
This fits in with cancer coming back. I have great insurance and I have reserves to pay for insurance if I can’t work. Still, I worry that something will change in our medical system and I won’t be able to afford care.
When I have these worries my thoughts go to those who don’t have insurance and for them worry is a real panic. This is something we can do something about and it’s something we should do something about. I still don’t know why we all fear a single payer system for health insurance.
All my clients are going to fire me.
This is a fear I’ve had since the first day I went in business. I think it’s one of the reasons I check emails and voice mails seven days a week. I was brought up with the belief that the only reason people do business with me is because my service is better than the other guy. It’s now become a habit. I just get very nervous when I’m not responding very quickly to those I do business with.
Our world will blow up.
This is one of those worries that I have no control over. It’s also one of the more silly things to worry about. If it happens, life becomes miserable. If it doesn’t, then I’ve spent an awful lot of time worrying about something that I can’t control. What about you, do you have worries that are way beyond your control but you still insist on worrying about them?
Something might happen to my son.
My son is a medic in a Special Operations unit in the Army. He goes places that are really dangerous where there are lots of people who would be very happy to kill or at least maim him. Every time he’s deployed I do my best not to worry about him, and my worry is still there.
He’s a great kid with lots of talent. I want him to live a full life with all his toes and fingers just where they’re supposed to be. Again, this is a worry I don’t really have much control over. And it’s a worry that crowds my brain.
The environment will really get screwed up (even more than it is now).
There’s no question we’re going through climate change. We might not know what causes it. We need to stop pretending it’s not happening. I suspect that we do know and just don’t want to admit that we know.
If we admit what’s causing change, then we’re going to have to change our behavior if we want the world to continue to exist. That change might be uncomfortable. We just don’t like to inconvenience ourselves. I’m afraid that if we don’t do it voluntarily, Mother Nature might just force us to.
We’ll have real civil unrest in this country.
This is a fear that people often look at me like I’m crazy. If the haves continue to get richer and the have not’s get poorer it’s not hard for me to visualize real civil disobedience appearing in the country.
This is why I’m happy that I live in Vermont. If civil disobedience breaks out, it will likely start in the cities. Vermont feels like a pretty safe place to be.
What about you, what are the things you’re scared of? Do you think about fear as false evidence appearing real or do you think that fears are real and should take up a lot of space in your thoughts? For me, fear is mostly a fleeting thing.
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