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Value Creation Blog

If My Mother Had Lived

Posted by Josh Patrick

Mama Dancing resized 600Dianne Brogan often writes proud Momma posts and tweets about her son Chris Brogan, one of the internet stars who deserves his stardom.  Diane is really proud of Chris as she should be.  I often comment on her blog posts or tweets about Chris.  Just because I really like proud Momma posts.

We recently had this twitter conversation:

Me - RT ‪@dianebrogan: Yeah! ‪@chrisbrogan YOU are my Superman! (My addition) I love it when Mom's brag about their sons.

‪Diane - @AskJoshPatrick What is your Mom's twitter handle? ‪@Chrisbrogan

‪Me - @DianeBrogan Hi Diane, unfortunately, my Mom left us about 29 years ago.

‪Diane - @AskJoshPatrick I bet your Mom is bragging in heaven.

‪Me - @DianeBrogan That would be a very nice thing.  I think I might have to write a blog post about what she would have been like if she lived.

This short interaction had a stronger effect on me than almost anything I’ve experienced about my mother in years.  I don’t know why, but it did.

First, I really miss my mother.

I don’t talk about her a lot, but I certainly think about her.  I think about her every day.  I wonder what it would have been like had she lived.  How would all of our lives have been different?

You see, my mother was the most amazing person I’ve ever known.  Everyone loved her.  When you were in her company your world lit up.  She always made whoever she was with the most important person in her universe.  She was so authentic about it that you knew there was no faking going on.

She would have loved to see her grandchildren grow.

She died before Suzanne was pregnant with Sam, our first child.  Our niece Liza was only a year or two old.  She would have loved to see her three grandchildren grow and become the fine adults they’ve become.  She missed a lot and more importantly they missed a lot.

My kids had a great grandmother, Suzanne’s Mom.  She was loving and wonderful and the kids got lots of love from her.  I guess I’m a little jealous that my Mom never had the same chance.  And, I’m sad the kids never had the chance either.

I hope she would have been proud of me.

While she was alive I did some really dumb things and made some really poor life decisions.  When she disapproved of what I was doing it was more from a place of real concern.  She showed me amazing compassion even when I was a total idiot.

After she left us I got my life together and started getting serious about creating value.  Some of the things I’ve managed to do are even pretty cool.  I hope she would have thought so.  I’m sorry I never got the chance to talk about them with her. 

Don’t miss the chance to tell your mother you love her.

I remember the last days when she died.  She was questioning whether it was all worth it.  She was questioning whether we loved her.  I know I didn’t tell her enough how important she was to me.  Heck, I didn’t even realize how important to me she was at that point in my life.  And although I do tell her regularly now she’s not here to hear it from me.  If you get the chance, tell your mom you love her and you appreciate the sacrifices she made for you (and she did).

For that matter, don’t miss the chance to tell all the people in your life you love them.

Don’t stop at your mother.  If someone has been or is important in your life tell them.  You never know when that opportunity is going to go away.  Life sometimes takes twists that we don’t expect.  What we thought would be around for a long time is suddenly gone.

There is no offer with this blog post, but I do have a favor of you to ask.  Please take a few minutes and sit quietly.  Have a conversation with those who aren’t here anymore and let them know how much you appreciate them for what they’ve added to your life.

Oh, Diane thanks so much for bringing this up.  I have no idea why our twitter conversation affected me the way it did, but I truly appreciate it.

This is my 500th post.  It’s hard to believe that I’ve been blogging for almost three years at least four times per week.  I hope you’ve enjoyed reading these posts nearly as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.  Thank you for allowing me to share my thoughts and opinions in this place.  Writing here has helped me solidify many of my thoughts and ideas.  I hope you’ve gotten some value and will continue to visit us as we move onward towards 1,000.

I hope you all have a safe and happy Fourth of July.

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Topics: lessons learned, Children, family

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