We’re supposed to be strong in business. We should never show any weakness and we certainly shouldn’t ever let anyone know that there are things we might not be very good at. At least that’s what we’re told.
I’ve found that vulnerability and taking risks are what makes many of my business and personal relationships special. We all have skeletons in our closet. For me, letting them out might take a little bit of risk but the value is usually worth it.
Do you want to have authentic relationships?
This is the core question for me and I hope for you. Authenticity means being real. It means letting your guard down and having others see that there are parts of your life that aren’t perfect.
I don’t know why we all like to pretend that things are always great. I know that if I’m having problems, I’m not really on the ball as when things are going well. Doesn’t it make sense that when you are having problems you let others know about them? You might even find some similar experiences you could learn from.
When you trust someone what do they do?
This is a core question that I often think about. What causes us to trust others? I know that when someone opens up to me and lets me in on something they might not tell the world they gain trust with me. Have you ever had the same experience?
I know that when I allow myself to be vulnerable, I’m going to have one of two things happen. The person I’m speaking with will gain trust in who I am. They could also think I’m a flake and decide they don’t want to associate with me. The vast majority of the time they gain trust.
It’s important to know that when you open up to others you’re taking a risk. I’ve learned that if I don’t take a risk, then there is little chance I’ll be seen as authentic and able to build trust. For me it’s easy. If someone doesn’t want to deal with me, then I want them to make that decision on who I really am.
Is it the superficial or deep relationships that help you take action?
I know that when someone is being superficial I always wonder why they do that. I know that when I’m dealing with a superficial person I’m always looking over my shoulder to see what they’re trying to pull over my eyes.
If you’re being superficial in your interactions with others I bet they’re having a similar reaction to mine. I bet they are wondering how you’re going to try to take advantage of them. I’ve gotten to the point where I just walk away from superficial people. Small talk has never been of any real interest to me and now I just do my best to stay away from it all together.
What’s the easiest way to make a relationship deeper?
I find the easiest way to make a relationship deeper is to share something about me that the person I’m speaking with might not know. If I make myself vulnerable, there is a good chance that my risk will be reciprocated. The person I’m working with will share and start to open up.
When I build trust, I feel confident that I can move quickly. Stephen Covey has a found that trust is one of the ways we move faster in business. I agree and this has been my experience as well. What about you, do you think that being vulnerable is something you’re willing to try? If so, when will you take the plunge?
I’ve written a case study on hiring for unique abilities. This case study shows you find out if others are willing to be vulnerable with you? Do you get the whole truth when you’re going through the interview process with others? To get this case study, click on the button below.