Have you ever wondered why sometimes you don’t seem to connect with others?
I know that when I work with other people I want to start out with trust. I also know that I sometimes lose trust quickly and start questioning whether I want to work with a person at all. I find that sometimes it comes down to lack of rapport with the other person, but more often it’s simple things that get in the way. These things are what make you authentic.
Don’t be a fake.
One of the things that really turns me off is when someone tries to be someone that they think I want them to be. Too often we try to fit in and turn ourselves into something we’re not.
I bet that you’ve tried to do this before. I also bet that it never felt right and caused lots of tension inside you. I also bet that others noticed and didn’t like it. They might not have told you they didn’t like it, you can be sure they didn’t.
I think it’s much better to be who you are. There are some who will gravitate towards you and others who won’t. Both are just fine. You can’t be all things to all people.
Set expectations about how you’ll respond.
One of the things that always bothers me is when people don’t respond to emails and phone calls. I think it’s important that when you start a relationship with someone you let them know how you would prefer to be communicated with. For me it’s email. You also need to find out how they would prefer to communicate with you.
The next step and this is important, let others know what you think is a timely response. I have some people who take a week or two to answer an email. I don’t like it, but I’ve come to learn that’s the time frame they work with. The problem I have is when I expect an answer within a day and three or four days later I’ve not heard anything.
I think you want to set expectations for responding via phone, email, and text messages. This will allow others to know when to send a follow up in case something fell through the cracks.
Be mindful of what the other person’s needs are.
Being authentic is often understanding the need of others. Too often we make it about what we need. If you want to build rapport and trust, knowing what’s expected of you and then meeting or exceeding those expectations helps make you more responsible in someone else’s eyes.
This is a tough one for a curmudgeon like me. For the most part I am nice. When I’m not I always pay the price.
This doesn’t mean that you become a doormat for people to walk over. It means that you treat others with respect. I like a version of the golden rule, “Treat others as they would like to be treated.” I find this is a good rule to live by.
Do what you say you’re going to do.
Don’t tell people what you’re going to do. As our friends at Nike like to say, “Just do it.” When you say you’re going to get a particular report delivered by a date, make sure you meet that date. If you can’t make it, make sure you tell the other person as soon as you know you’re going to miss the date.
Sometimes we blow it and miss dates. We’ve all had the experience of blowing a meeting. When this happens and it will, apologize for not meeting your agreement and set a new one. You’ve had your one chance and you can’t afford to miss the second one. If you do you lose trust and you’re not seen as being authentic.
If you can find a way to be authentic and helpful others will notice. When you act in this manner you’ll attract those around you who also are helpful. I think that’s a great place to be.
I think setting expectations is an important part of a good relationship. We’ve put together a mind map of what we want our clients to expect from a relationship with us. To get this mind map, click on the button below.