Change happens quickly. It’s not something that takes forever. It often is immediately preceded by a phone call. It’s what happens after the phone call that takes a long time.
It’s not change it’s transition.
Change happens in seconds, transitions take forever. We’re almost always going through one type of transition or another. We’re getting older. We’re gaining weight, we’re losing weight.
We have a loved one who dies. That’s a change. The transition from living as a couple to being on our own again is one that takes a long time. In most cases it takes many, many years.
The pain is often moving to the new normal.
For me it’s the aftermath of change that can cause pain. That’s the transition stage. At one time in my life something was true. Change happens and it’s no longer true. Now I have to learn to live with a new reality.
You have a choice. You can see the new reality as pain or you can see it as part of life. You might have always seen it as pain. Do you think pain is necessary or might there be a better way?
Living in the present helps.
I think much of the pain in transitions is because we compare transition to what we had. We only see loss and don’t see possibilities.
We might decide that the past wasn’t very good and we might see the future as even being worse. The truth is we don’t know what the future will bring. We just know it’ll be different.
If you can learn to live in the present you’ll find that what happened in the past isn’t as painful and you’ll learn about the future when you get there. The choice is yours.
Transition doesn’t have to hurt.
Transition might have to be uncomfortable. After all you’re going to have new experiences you haven’t had before. That doesn’t mean it has to hurt. Hurt comes from your worldview.
If you take responsibility for what your view of the world is you get a chance to control it. If you don’t take responsibility transitions will control you. Don’t you want r?
One of my favorite sayings.
I love this saying……it is what it is. I probably say this at least once a day. When things don’t go my way, I say it is what it is. Then I can get to work on changing the is to something I like better.
In most cases what happens to you isn’t good or bad, it just is. If you can accept this and move on your life will be better. And, isn’t that what it’s all about.