Have you ever had the feeling that something is true but you just didn’t know why or even where the thought came from?
Here’s another question for you - have you ever had your spouse say this, “My gut is telling me this just isn’t a very good idea.”
When this happens, what do you do? I hope you take those feelings seriously. Let’s examine why you should.
Your spouse knows more about your business than you think they do.
At first this surprised me. Then, I thought back to many conversations I’ve had with my wife Suzanne. Over the years she’s come to know my business almost as well as I do. She also can let me know when I’m off base and ask a good question that isn’t asked by the people who work with me.
You’d be surprised by how much information members of your family pick up by just being around you. You might even be surprised how much you talk about your business at home. After all, it’s where you spend an awful lot of your time and energy.
Gut feelings come from lots of small pieces of information.
This is just as true for your spouse as for you. The reason you have gut feelings is because you’re subconscious mind is integrating a lot of disparate information. Your spouse will often just have a gut feeling and not be able to give you a specific reason why something works or doesn’t work for them.
Make sure you pay attention to these thoughts. They might save you a lot of time, effort and pain.
Outsiders often have a better view of what’s really going on in your life.
You’ve heard the saying, “You’re just too close to see what’s going on.” It’s true. Looking at opportunities and problems from close range often gives you only part of the picture.
Instead make sure you talk with someone who’s not close to the problem. Let the person who see’s the big picture tell you what they think. Remember, the big picture only comes when you can step back and see the entire landscape, not just the small piece you’re looking at today.
You might not have a real coach but your spouse often fills the role.
I’m a big believer in having a coach work with you. I spend a lot of time coaching others and I have a coach for the work I do. In my case I call my coach a thinking partner.
I want to have someone I can talk with who can be detached and ask good questions.
If you’re not in a place where you can find an outside coach use your spouse. They may not have the training a true coach has and at the same time they’ll have a better understanding of your motivations and details of your business than an outside coach.
The best bet here is to have both…..use your coach and spouse to help you see clearly what’s going on in your business.
At the end of the day you really do need a listening partner.
A listening partner is not someone who’s just going to agree with everything you say. Their job is to listen and help you clarify when you’re thinking isn’t clear. They will ask you questions you might not have asked yourself. They might even give you an opinion or idea you haven’t thought of before.
You’re not likely going to find a good thinking partner in your business. There’s just too much risk. Your advisors have the same issue, they’ll be afraid that if they tell you the truth you’ll fire them.
You want your thinking partner to be brave. You want your thinking partner to ask the tough questions. You want your thinking partner to have the guts to disagree with strongly held beliefs you have. Often that person is your spouse.
What do you think, are you willing to use your spouse for your thinking partner? I hope you are.