They’re just too scared to tell you what you need to hear. Even if you think this isn’t true, you would be wrong…..no one tells you the truth.
Trust is a funny topic. Not in the ha ha sense, but in one where we all have different opinions about it.
For some people trust should come unconditionally and for others trust comes because others have earned it. I tend to be in the second school and believe that trust is earned and often re-earned over a period of time.
Let’s start with what builds trust.
Here’s a statement for you to consider….the meaning of your communication is the way it’s received. This is not a new age statement for you to ponder. It’s a simple statement that just says it doesn’t matter what you think you said, it only matters how the person you’re speaking with heard it.
A personal story with my family.
This question is about the type of language you use when you’re talking with others. Understanding how the language we use affects others is a key in building rapport and trust.
Every industry that I’m involved with has it’s own language. This language is often referred to as jargon by those outside the industry. Unless someone is part of your group, it’s often best to adopt their language and leave yours behind.
I often write about the power of the word no. There can be a problem with that word which causes unintended consequences. When you say no to people it can cause you some real problems. Sometimes people get angry when you say no. Sometimes they get more than angry they go ballistic.
I was recently at a meeting where it was opened with a picture of a person who had been instrumental in the success of the company. The CEO of the company started singing the praises of this person. Unfortunately, the person the CEO was talking about was dead. He never got a chance to hear how important he was to the company.
When you have a problem with someone else do you hold a mirror up to yourself? Do you realize that when someone really annoys you it’s often about something in you that’s making you react that way?
It’s a funny thing. When we make a judgment about others we’re often making a judgment about ourselves. It took me a long time to learn this lesson. It’s one that I get to revisit on a regular basis.
I recently wrote a post in the NY Times on the concept of hidden metrics. A hidden metric is a measurement that you use in your company that is not included in your normal financial statements. It’s usually something you’ve developed that helps you understand your business better.
Hidden metrics are prospective.
We often say yes to people because of who they are and not what the request is. Sometimes you just have to say yes. And then there are other times where a little thought before saying yes would be a good idea.
You can add long business plans, long marketing plans, long job descriptions; you get the idea. If at all possible stop writing long reports and plans. No one wants to read long reports and once they’re read they’re never looked at again.
The longer the report the less clear you’ll be.