I’ve been thinking about where people start in deciding what they want in life. Too often I see those decisions start in the weeds and not looking from 20,000 feet or as I like to say, in the balcony.
You’ve just been fired from your job, your spouse has just died, you’re in the middle of a divorce, your life has been turned upside down and the only thing you can think about is all the things you need to do.
The more you think about them the bigger your headache becomes. It’s easier to do nothing and sit on the sidelines. You might even feel stuck.
I often find that people I’m around both at home and work have a hard time committing to doing things. They find reasons not to commit and at the same time they don’t say no either.
Learning to say no is part of committing. For whatever reason, be it we don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings or we just don’t want to deal with something, we have a hard time saying no. No is one of the words that frees us. Once we say no, we get to move on to the next thing in our life.
I’ve been involved in a conversation for the past few weeks about the difference between persuasion and influence. The conversation started with the question, “how do you persuade your clients to do something.”
My conclusion is that we shouldn’t persuade, we should help our clients discover options they choose. This fits in with my belief that clients need to stay in charge of the relationship that we have. If we persuade, then we are taking control of the relationship.