All you have to do is have some real turmoil in your life. If you’re going through a divorce, your IQ drops. You’ve just gotten fired from your job, your IQ drops. Your spouse just died, yup your IQ drops.
You get the idea - tension and IQ enhancement don’t go well together. So what does all of this mean?
Don’t make any major decisions!
If you’ve got tons of strain from a major life change, don’t make any major decisions. If possible, don’t make any minor ones either. This is a time for reflection and to think about what’s important to you.
The problem with this idea is that when a major life change happens there’s going to be people who want you to make a decision. In fact, it’ll feel like they’re demanding you decide and decide now. They might even tell you that if you don’t decide, bad things will happen. In my experience bad things happen when you rush to judgment, not when you go slow.
Simplify, Simplify, Simplify
Lots of times decisions others want you to make are presented in a complicated manner. Just make them be presented in a way you understand.
If you don’t understand what someone else is telling you make them start over again. Keep having them start over until you fully understand what they’re talking about. This advice is especially true when you’re speaking with a professional like your attorney or accountant.
Find someone you trust.
There’s a good chance your feeling fragile as well as having your brain not work as well as it could. You’ve likely had some sort of trust shattered. This is a time for you to go to old friends who have stood by you in thick and thin.
At the same time you need to tell these people that you’re not looking for advice. What you need from them is for them to listen and reflect back what you’ve said. You aren’t looking to them for answers, you’re looking to them as a listening post.
It’s important that you don’t whine and complain when talking to your friend. You want to make sure they listen to your feelings and thoughts. Talk about what your options are, not what went wrong, that is unless you want to learn from what went wrong. This is a time where you focus on simple steps you can take when you feel strong enough.
It really is one step at a time.
It’s small steps that count. Before long, you’ll feel strong enough to take steps that are a little bigger. The key here is to go slow. There’s nothing to be gained from going fast. You’ll just have to go back and do it again. Getting it right the first time is always the best way to go.
We’ve got a workbook called the When in Transition workbook. You can step yourself through what you have to do if your in transition. It might even be a good idea to look at it before you need to. You can then be prepared for decision you might want to make.