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South Burlington, VT

My Spouse has Been Told They Don’t Have Much Time to Live.

The issue: Your spouse has just been diagnosed with a terminal condition. Your world has just been turned upside down. You want to spend as much time as possible with your spouse. At the same time, you know there is much that should be done before he or she passes. You’re feeling frozen and don’t know what to do first.

spouse_is_going_to_die Your story: You either just got a phone call that changed your life. You have received word that your spouse is about to die. You feel frozen and don’t know what to do.

Your spouse might not want to talk about their impending death. Your spouse may not even want to talk about the nuts and bolts things that are important for you to know.

All of your advisors have been your spouse's. You know who they are, but you don’t have a relationship with them. You’re not sure if you can trust them and you surely don’t want to deal with lots of details that don’t seem very important right now.

The only thing you want to do is spend time with your spouse.  You know that you should take care of things before your spouse dies.  You don't know where to start and you have no interest in learning.

Challenges you might have...

Problems:

  • You don't want to deal with the impending death of your spouse
  • You're overwhelmed by all of the things you're going to have to do in the near future.
  • You don't know anything about your family finances.
  • You're not very good at asking for help and it sure would be nice if someone volunteered.
  • You're scared of the last days that are coming way too fast.

Solutions:

  • You might want to take care of some simple things that will become more difficult right after your spouse dies.
  • You should enter a decision free zone where you only work on the truly important things that must be done.
  • If your spouse has recently been told there is limited time to live, you could have a chance to learn much about the finances in your family. 
  • If you have adult children, be sure to lean on them. They'll also be very sad a parent is going to die. They also may be more resourceful in dealing with details than you.
  • Learn what happens when people die. Have a conversation about this with hospice professionals. They can guide you through the process of death.
What if workbook