We all want to have meaningful relationships. To do that, we have to be open to having deep connections in the first place. The problem is deep relationships take work. Too often, we just don't feel we have the energy to create relationships that will last. This might make you wonder what your life will look like in your golden years.
Relationships can be challenging. The quality of our relationships has a big influence on the quality of our lives. Relationships are like living organisms. They require attention and energy to thrive. When ignored, they degrade and wither away. How many friends have drifted away from you over the years?
Enhance your relationships and your life:
"Fix" yourself.The people we bring into our lives are often attempting to patch our shortcomings. We often use others as distractions. When you raise your own life, you will naturally boost your standards.
- Our friends and lovers are often very much like us. If you're routinely having challenges in your life, you'll feel comfortable with others who are challenged in the same way as you. When you have your own life together, you'll find similar people attracted to your life.
Focus on what you can provide to the other person.It doesn't take much to make most people happy, most of the time. When the other person is happy and content, they'll be in a better position to make you happy, too.
Do meaningful things together.If you love art, it's much more meaningful to share it with someone. You'll find that you enjoy watching others enjoy themselves, even if the activity isn't interesting to you. Share meaningful experiences, and those emotions will spill over into your relationship.
Have deep conversations.If all you talk about our work and the weather, the relationship will never have any depth. While all friendships and romantic relationships start at a casual level, things must become deeper over time if the relationship becomes more meaningful.
Consider important details in their lives.We all dislike when someone forgets our birthday or doesn't ask us about our first day at a new job. Take notes if you have to, and stay on top of the critical items going on in the lives of your friends and family.
- People always remember how you made them feel.
They might forget what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel. If you can make the other person feel good, your relationship will grow.
- If you make the other person feel guilty, lazy, ashamed, or any other negative emotion, you're losing ground. Address behaviors and avoid attacking anyone.
Be good to yourself.If you don't love and respect yourself, others will be less likely to. When you're good to yourself, others will respect you and treat you well, too.
Get back to others quickly.We all have the friend that ignores our emails, phone calls, and texts. Avoid becoming known as the person that rarely returns messages.
Be patient and forgiving.You're going to take some damage from a friend or family member that's having a bad day. Learn to forgive and forget the occasional outburst. Hopefully, you'll receive the same consideration.
Get personal.Social media, text messaging, and emails are amazing inventions. However, these are poor substitutes for real conversation. Make an effort to talk to someone in person or on the phone. If you want to make good use of technology, try Skyping. It's free, and you can see each other.
The effort takes to build meaningful relationships may seem like a lot of work. What if we told you that the benefits of deeper, more intimate connections with others will make everything else in your life better? It's true! With these ten steps to building deep and lasting friendships, you just might have an easier time getting there. Let us know what you think about this article in the comments below!
While you're at it, why don't you set a time for us to talk? There is no reason to be lonely later in life. Having deep relationships helps to keep that from happening. We have special training in transitions and know we can help you develop strategies that work for you. Just click on the button below, and you'll have a chance to have a conversation about having a great life as you age.