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I know this looks like a pretty stupid question.  I asked it for a reason.  I want you to think about how trust fits into your life.  I want you to realize that without trust intimacy is probably not possible.  Without trust in your life, it’s going to be very hard having a good life.

Trust is at the core of everything that’s important in your life.

Trust is the value I think is the most important in your life.  I believe trust comes before love.  This is not a chicken and an egg sort of thing.  Without trust there is no love, there is not even like.  Trust is what allows you develop intimate relationships.  It’s what you need before you can become believable.

Our firm’s purpose is to help you make your life better.  If you don’t trust us, I don’t think’s possible.  If I don’t trust you, it’s also not possible.  Helping you make your life better involves risk.  You’re not going to take risks if you don’t trust.  We can’t help you build a better life if you’re hanging out with people who aren’t trustworthy.  You can’t do it if you’re not trustworthy.


When we don’t have trust, life gets very difficult.

Life becomes pretty lonely when you don’t have trust.  People whom you used to hang around with will no longer want to associate with you.  Eventually all of the people you’ve depended on will go away.  The only people you’ll find for company are others who are also not trustworthy.  You’ll always be watching your back.  Is that how you want to live your life?

I’ve been there.  When I was younger I did lots of things that had little integrity.  Slowly those who trusted me started to be careful when they were around me.  It almost got me killed.  I learned from that.  I learned that I had a choice and I chose to work on being trustworthy.  Now I have a circle of people I depend on and they depend on me.  Life has gotten much better as I’ve become more trustworthy.  What about you, are you will to ask yourself some tough questions?


For me, it’s all about congruency.

I just don’t want to be around people who aren’t trustworthy.  I don’t have time or interest in looking behind my back.  I don’t want to try to figure out if you’re happy with me.  I want you to tell me.  You’re only going to do this if you trust me.

It really comes down to congruency.  If I’m congruent you can trust that I’m doing what I say.  If you’re not congruent those you count on will become less dependable.  It won’t be their fault it’ll be yours.  You get to decide.  Is doing the hard work of being congruent worth it?


It’s just too hard to be with people who you can’t trust.

Life is short.  Even when life is long, it’s short.  I believe that we all want more time.  If that’s true why would you want to hang around with people you don’t trust?  Why would you try to love people you don’t trust?

I know we’re supposed to give unconditional love to those in our family.  I guess it’s possible to do that with people in your family you don’t trust.  I question if that’s really love or if it’s guilt.  If it’s guilt then you really aren’t giving love, you’re giving a version of pretending you love those you don’t trust.  I think it’s just better to be honest.  Talk about building trust.  Talk about what makes trust not possible in your life.  It’s a hard conversation for you to have.  It’s a conversation that can make your life better.

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