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new slash should resized 600Yes, this is strong language.  It’s even a little outrageous.  If you use the word should you’re doing yourself a disservice. 

I know that when someone tells me they should do something or I should do something I immediately turn them off.  If you do this enough with other people they turn you off.  After a while people stop listening to what you’re saying.  That’s just the way it works.

Should might make you feel better, but if it does it’s only temporary.

I know, we’ve all said it.  I’ve said I should lose weight. I didn’t.  I’ve said I should read this book, I didn’t.  I’ve said I should make this phone call, and I never got around to it.  Every time I would say I should, I might feel better for a little while.  Saying I should meant to me I’ll get to it later, I never did and I bet you didn’t either.

Should is the great word of procrastinators everywhere.  You either are going to do something or you’re not.  It’s that simple.  There isn’t anything wrong with saying no or later.  Should might fool people for a while and it’s only for a while.

Should allows you to think you’re doing something.

I’ve worked with people who would should me to death.  Or I’ve been told I should take a particular action.  Both are false.  If you really needed to do it, you would have done so already.  If you should do it, why not just do it? 

It’s really not all that complicated.  Please don’t tell me you should.  Either give me a plan or just say it’s not on my list right now.  Either one is way better and much more authentic.

Should lets you justify.

There are two things I hate that people do.  One is when people justify their behavior.  The other is when people blame their problems on others.  Both allow you to not take responsibility for what’s going on in your life.  Both don’t serve you well.

If you use the word should in your life you are justifying why you’ve not gotten around to doing it.  Should makes you sound like you’re going to.  We both know that when you use should you have no intention of taking action.  You just don’t want me to pester you.  If instead you were just straight with me, I would back off anyway.  Doesn’t that make more sense?

Should keeps you from doing.

When you allow yourself to tell yourself and others you should do something you’re just delaying.  If you really need to take action, get to it. 

Too many people believe what others say.  When you use the word should you’re raising false hopes in those you’re speaking with.  If you tell people that you should do something too many times you lose credibility.  Is that how you want to be seen?

Don’t try, either do or don’t do.

I have this game I play with people who tell me they should.  I take a pen out and put it in the palm of my hand.  I then ask that they try to take the pen out of my hand.  You will either take it out or you won’t.  You can’t try to take it out it’s impossible.

The same can be said of the word should.  You should take the pen out of my hand but you’re not.  You’re trying to do so.  You either can successfully take the pen out or you can’t.  Both are OK.  Either is authentic.  Trying and should are not.  What do you want to be known for?

One of the things I’ve noticed over the years is myths that grow up about private business owners.  I’ve written a special report de-bunking some of those myths.  If you would like take a look at this report, click on the button below.

Click Here for your Report:7 Myths of the Private Business Owner

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Topics: business coaching, communication, build trust

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