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One of my pet peeves are certain words and phrases that live in the English language. I find these words offensive. Not in the way you might think. They’re offensive because of what the result is of using them.

I don’t have many of them, just four. Two of them are phrases and two are single words. Since this is one of my rant blog posts, let’s get right into it.

My biggest one… should

I’ve had people tell me what I should do my entire life. People have told me for years I should do something or I shouldn’t do something. Or the world should be this way.

When someone tells me they should do something, I know they have no intention. They think because they are telling me they should, I’ll let them off the hook. I often get a look of disbelief when someone tells me they should, and I ask why they haven’t?

We either do or we don’t. We don’t should. Please do your best to take this word out of your vocabulary. When you use it, you’re seen as a fraud and it never will get you off the hook. I know this is true when I say it and I bet the same is true for you.

The worst connective word… but

If you use the word but I have two words for you… STOP IT. When you use but in a sentence, it negates the first part of the sentence.

For example, if you say, “That’s a really nice hair color, but it would like much better if you had it a little lighter,” you’re telling the person you’re talking with you don’t like their hair color. You might think you’re giving constructive feedback and you’re not. The truth is the word but is a damaging word that only makes you and me seem like we’re not truthful. I’m sure that’s not the way you want to come across. I can promise you it’s not the way I want to have others see me.

It’s only business

I’ve had several people say this to me over the years when they’ve stopped doing business with me. It’s always used as an excuse, and it always makes me see red. I bet the same is true with you.

Instead of using that phrase, be brave and be honest. Tell the person you’re speaking with the real reason you are making a change. They’ll learn from the experience. When you say it’s only business, it shows you’re being lazy and not showing the person you’re speaking with any respect.

I’ll take it under advisement

I had a client who used to say this all the time. I knew every time they said it, the person speaking had no interest and would not take any action on the suggestion I had just made. I finally got fed up and one day said to them, “Stop saying that. You have no intention of acting on what Im saying.”

When you’re not straight with others, you frustrate them. Frustrating those you’re living or working with isn’t something I bet you want to do. They know you’re telling them to go away and they know it too.

I believe that when you use a term like “I’ll take it under advisement” you are showering the person with you’re speaking with a huge amount of disrespect. It’s obvious to them, and if you think about it for a minute or two, it’s obvious to you.

Those are my four that really drive me crazy. What are the words or phrases that you hate? Why don’t you let me know in the comments below?




Topics: effective communication, honesty, stop using this word, stop using this phrase

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